By Dorcas Karuana,
Recently, John was hospitalized in hospital having been involved in an accident that killed almost all the passengers on board. John who is married to Mary was in critical condition which doctors said he could either survive or not. During this period, John underwent various operations and was on expensive medication to try save his life. His family used all the money they had and could not raise half a million that was required to settle his bill.
During one of the visits, John told his brother, James, of a 1 Acre land that he owned in Ruiru which could be sold off to pay for his bill. James was to get the land license from his mother, and then proceed to sell it. However, as James went home, he passed by John’s home and met Mary who he shared with what John has asked him to do. Mary was furious; she did not know the existence of the land! ….
There are many secrets that men will keep away from their wives or girlfriends; for one reason or another. Whether he loves you or not there are some secrets that you might never find out about him. Among these is the package he takes home at the end of the month.
His Salary is his secret for these reasons.
1. Men do not want women who budget for their money. This is the first reason why men dread to say how much they earn to their ladies. The simply do not want you to give a budget of things to be done in the house. Say for example, one is paying all the bills but the lady wants the house modernize, carpet changed, kitchen utensils added or bought micro waves and fringes. If the man says he doesn’t have money and the wife knows how much he earns this becomes a conflict. Questions like; where he is taking his money? Who he could be giving or sharing with his money?
2. Men do not completely trust that a woman’s love even if she is the mother of his children. Men trust their mothers more than their wives to an extent that they consult her before making some family decisions without even the knowledge of the wife. For example, some will buy land or other property and put it custody to his mother. Others leave a will of all property either going to his children or his mother or even a brother other than the wife.
3. Men do not want women to know when they are broke or have money. All men have an ego. Financial security massages their ego while financial insecurity makes their ego go down. A man should be the head and provider of the family. He should take care of the needs of a woman. This makes him feel worth, and responsible for his family. When a man is broke he feels insecure doesn’t want his lady to know it. He just fears that you could be tempted to… go out with someone else, get money from another man e.t.c.
4. Men fear that a woman will make unrealistic demands if she finds out he has money. Some ladies are known to be spenders; extravagant and not flexible. Men dread such women. They want women who can reason and be understanding to all needs of the family/ relationship. For example, ask for a vacation trip for some days; ask for designer bags, wardrobe change, a new vehicle, changing children from one school to a high class one e.t.c. Others will even ask the man to sell off some of his property just to meet her demands of life.
5. Men just have a utopia; fear that something from his imagination can happen to him if his woman realizes he has money. For example, some think you can kill him for his money and be left enjoying it. Others imagine you give them ‘kamuti’ i.e bewitch him so that he does all what the wife says while some see as if you love him for his money and if he become broke you will walk out while others
6. Men also want to maintain their status quos to their friends and society. Some will not want the wife to find out how he uses his money. He could be spending it on his family members or even a ‘mpango wa kando.’ This is the reason why some men do not meet all the bills of the house.
Secrets are there in relationships, but they can either work for or against a person in a relationship, if your partner finds out you are hiding something from her/ him. It could also seem like you do not trust her yet she has been beside you all through. But at the end of it all, people will decide how they want to live and how much you can disclose to your partner.
Wishing you a good weekend!!